Looking for the Best Cruise Jokes? These Funny Cruise Quotes and Cruise Captions for Instagram will Make You Laugh

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Want to add some humor to your next cruise vacation? Well, what you need is some funny cruise quotes! Whether you’re looking for witty cruise quotes for Instagram photos or planning a design for your special cruise t-shirt, these quotes will definitely raise a chuckle with your fellow cruisers.

I’ve been cruising since 1990 and I keep thinking I have probably seen every funny cruise t-shirt design out there. But on every new cruise we go on, something new always pops up to make me smile.

From puns about the Cruise ship buffet to clever jokes about life on board a ship, these quotes are great for anyone who likes a good laugh. 

So why not spice up your next cruise with a laugh or three? You never know, you might just make some new friends along the way! It beats upside-down pineapple T-shirts at least! LOL 

Humor on the High Seas Makes A Great Quote For Instagram

From onboard comedians to funny cruise quotes, there’s no shortage of belly laughs on a cruise ship. Whether you’re enjoying a stand-up comedy show or simply chatting with fellow passengers over a drink, there’s always something to make you smile.

So here’s a quick tip: Don’t take yourself too seriously on your next cruise.

Embrace the “brighter side of life” enjoy all the laughs that come with it and turn this into a hilarious cruise trip. As they say, laughter is the best medicine – and on a cruise ship, it’s always in abundance. And it’s free!

Cruise Vacation Humor Makes For Funny Cruise Quotes

Here are some of my favorite funny cruise quotes and jokes to keep you entertained. You might even want to get down with the kids and use them on your next Facebook Instagram or Twitter posts.

  • “A cruise is a great way to discover new destinations and gain 10 pounds in a week.”
  • “Cruising with family is like a floating reunion, except you can’t escape to the bar in the next village”
  • “I don’t always take a cruise, but when I do, I prefer to have a drink in my hand.”
  • “Going on a cruise is like being on a diet, except the only thing you’re not cutting back on is your daily steps.”
  • “Why did the cruise ship go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little seasick.”
  • “I went to the Gym to get Ship-Shape, but now I’m the Shape of a Ship!”

Looking for the best cruise Instagram Captions? Try Some Sailing and Sea Life Jokes

Okay, so your sides are not splitting at the cruise vacation jokes?  Well, get ready to laugh with these hilarious sailing and sealife jokes!

  • Why did the sailor go to the psychiatrist? To get some anchor management!
  • What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated!
  • What did the Ocean say to the Ship? Nothing, it just waved!
  • Why did the pirate refuse to say “Aye, aye, captain”? Because he only had one eye!
  • What do you call a boat called Robbie? A rowboat! Robbie the Rowboat!!!! Get, it!
  • What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? A bagel!
  • Why did the sailor take a shower before getting on the boat? To wash ashore!

Okay, these raised a giggle, didn’t they? Thank God for Tena ladies my Auntie Nan always said. Never understood what she meant, but she always had that knowing smile. 

Humor in Travel and Exploration Can Make You Laugh Instead of Cry

Travel and exploration have always been a source of inspiration for humor. Rumor has it that when Christopher Columbus first set foot in America, he was disappointed at the poor phone signal.

When you travel, you are exposed to new cultures, languages, and experiences that can be both exciting and overwhelming.

It’s important to remember to have fun and not take everything too seriously. Here are a few ways to inject some humor into your travels:

  • Embrace the unexpected: Traveling can be unpredictable, and sometimes things don’t go as planned. Instead of getting frustrated, try to find humor in the situation. If your flight is delayed, make a joke about how you have more time to explore the airport. I mean, you’ve always wanted to check out whether that prayer room is just for nervous flyers or not, haven’t you?
  • Use puns: Puns are a great way to inject some humor into your travels. For example, if you’re on a cruise, you could say “I’m a-boat to step on a ship”. Well, perhaps not.
  • Laugh at yourself: For some of us, that’s as easy as looking in the mirror. Boom Boom!
  • Share stories: Traveling is a great way to collect funny stories. Share your adventures with others and encourage them to share their own. You never know what hilarious anecdotes you might hear. Or might not want to hear!

By embracing the unexpected, using puns, laughing at yourself, and sharing stories, you can make your travels more enjoyable and memorable and have the perfect cruise. So go out there and have some fun!

Social Media and Cruise Humor Make The Best Cruise Memes

If you’re going on a cruise, you’re of course going to want to document it on social media. Every single course of that meal, right? After all, what’s the point of having a great time if you can’t show it off to your followers and make them insanely jealous?

But how do you make your cruise photos stand out from the crowd? With some clever cruise captions and quotes of course!

First, let’s talk about social media. Instagram (and the new “Threads” App) is the perfect platform for sharing your cruise photos. Use hashtags like #cruiselife, #seascape, and #cruiseship to make sure your photos get seen by other cruise enthusiasts.

And don’t forget to tag the cruise line or ship you’re on – they might even repost your photo! Fame at last!

Okay let’s get some Instagram-able quotes at the ready:-

  • “I’m not lazy, I’m on cruise control”
  • “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a cruise ship, asking it to take me away”
  • “I sea you, and I like what I sea”
  • “Cruising: when you’re too lazy to plan a real vacation”
  • “I’m not lost, I’m just on a spontaneous cruise”
  • “Why did the cruise ship leave? It was a-boat time!”

So there you have it – some tips for making your cruise photos stand out on social media with some clever cruise humor. 

Life on the Cruise As a Cruise Ship Passenger In Need of a Laugh

So it’s day 6 of that 14-day Transatlantic crossing. Staring at the sea and absolutely nothing else for the past 5 days is driving you to distraction.  Shouting “LAND AHOY!” at the top of your voice has not gone down well with your fellow guests, who have heard it four times a day. Every. Single. Day.

So it’s time to try new foods, and meet new people, let loose and have a good time.

One of the best things about life on a cruise is the huge number of activities available to you.

From water ski-ing off the back of the boat to rock climbing up the front of the Captain’s Cabin Window, there’s something for everyone. And if you’re feeling lazy, just grab a deck chair and pretend it is a surfboard. You’ll be sure to meet new friends.

Soak up the sun while sipping on a drink. Which by the sound of things you’ve been enjoying since before breakfast.

Another great thing about cruising life is the food. With a variety of dining options available, you’ll never go hungry.

Whether you’re in the mood for a casual burger (have you ever met a formal one?) or a fancy dinner, there’s a restaurant for you. And don’t forget about the all-you-can-eat buffets! As Jimmy Buffet once said, “I may not be a family guy, but I haven’t met a Buffet I don’t like!”.

Of course, life on the cruise isn’t always smooth sailing. You may encounter rough seas, long lines, or annoying fellow passengers like John from Toledo showing his collection of passport stamps which somehow all read “Nassau”.

But don’t let that get you down. Just remember that you’re on vacation, and everything will work out in the end.

So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. Life on the cruise is a one-of-a-kind experience that you’ll never forget. Remember a good day begins with “Good Morning”. 

Famous Quotes with a Twist Make Great Cruise Captions For Instagram

Funny Cruise Quotes - When You're Too Lazy To Plan A Real Vacation

Looking for some famous quotes with a twist to is the perfect way add some humor to your cruise vacation? Check out these hilarious takes on some classic sayings that will tickle your funny bone and get you in the mood for some fun in the sun.

  • Research shows that cruises are the safest form of travel – unless you’re on the dance floor during a storm.” – Unknown
  • “Sometimes you have to go through rough waters to get to the safe harbor, but it’s always worth it for the piña coladas waiting for you.” – Unknown
  • “Ships are the best places to be, because nowhere else do you feel so much like a pirate.” – Zora Neale Hurston

Don’t forget to share these funny sayings with your fellow cruisers next time the ship sails! But best to ask permission first. It may not go well as an opening line in the elevator.

The Lighter Side of Sea Travel – Inspirational Cruise Captions

Sea travel always offers plenty of opportunities for some good-natured humor. But it can offer some inspiration as well as humor. 

  • “I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.” – Susan Sontag

  • “The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.” – Jacques Yves Cousteau

  • “A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

  • “Why don’t fish like basketball? Because they’re afraid of the net.” – Unknown

  • “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown

  • “I’m not a morning person. I’m a coffee person.” – Unknown

  • “I need a six-month vacation, twice a year.” – Unknown

As you cruise along the saltwater soaking in that vitamin sea, take a moment to appreciate the beauty of human life and the vastness of the open air.

But don’t forget to keep an eye out for the sight of the shore, or you might end up lost at sea! Land Ahoy! (Did I tell you about that last Transatlantic cruise…)

Whether you’re sipping a cocktail by the pool or enjoying a gourmet meal in the dining room, there’s always room for some lighthearted humor. 

Cruise and Travel Quotes for the First-Time Cruiser

Funny Cruise Quotes - Life's a Beach and Then You Cruise

As a first-time cruise, you might feel left out. You’re surrounded by seemingly crazy people sporting all sorts of t-shirts with cruise puns as far as the eyes can see. Don’t worry here are some of the best cruise and travel quotes that will inspire you to set sail on your first cruise adventure sporting your own t-shirt:

  • “Life’s a beach, and then you cruise.” – Unknown
  • “The world is a book, and those who do not travel only read one page.” – Saint Augustine
  • “Life is short, but the memories of a good cruise last forever.” – Unknown
  • “First cruise? Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it. Just remember: the boat is bigger than you think, the drinks are stronger than you think, and the ocean is deeper than you think.” – Unknown
  • “The best things in life are the people we love, the places we’ve been, and the memories we’ve made along the way.” – Unknown
  • “We’re going to sail to the edge of the net of wonder, on a cruise to the mystic.” – Van Morrison 
  • “There’s no phone signal here!” Christopher Columbus (Allegedly) 

So, whether you are planning your first cruise or embarking on your next adventure, remember, life is short, but the memories of a good cruise last forever!

Humorous Sayings About Cruises Make Great One Liners

If you’ve read this far, you are clearly in this for the long haul. So let’s keep sailing. Here are some humorous sayings about cruises that will make you smile and chuckle:

  • “The only thing better than a cruise is a free cruise.”
  • The best things in life are free, but the drinks on a cruise ship are not.
  • “A boat sail is a romantic way to travel until you realize you’re stuck on a big boat with a thousand other people.”
  • “A cruise is a beautiful place to disconnect from the world, and then reconnect with the Wi-Fi.”
  • “Bon voyage! May your cruise be as smooth as your pick-up lines.”
  • “A day cruise is like a mini-vacation, except you don’t have to unpack and repack your suitcase.”
  • “On a cruise ship, the sea is your backyard, the sky is your ceiling, and the buffet is your dining room.”

These humorous sayings show that even though there may be some challenges and inconveniences on a cruise, it’s all part of the fun and adventure.

So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride – and don’t forget to bring your sense of humor along for the journey!

A River Cruise  – Humor Without The Ocean Views

If you’re going on a river cruise, you’re in for a treat – you can shout “Land Ahoy” as often as you want!  River cruises are a great way to explore new places and relax at the same time. Well apart from all that rowing.

But, did you know that they can also be a source of humor? Here are some funny river cruise jokes and puns that will make you laugh:

  • What do you call a group of river cruise passengers? A buoy band!
  • What’s the best way to see the roads of lands? Take a river cruise!
  • Why did the river cruise chef quit his job? He couldn’t take the pressure, he was in too deep!
  • What do you call a river cruise that’s always late? A slow boat to China!

River cruises are a great way to see new places, but not new places by the sea. Boom Boom!  So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. Who knows, you might even come up with your own river cruise joke!

Where You Can Buy Cruise Humor Gifts With The Best Cruise Captions

Funny Cruise Quotes - I'm Just a Girl Standing In Front Of A Cruise Ship, Asking It To Take Me Away

If you’re looking for a funny gift for a friend or family member who loves cruises, you’re in luck! There are plenty of places where you can find cruise-themed gifts that are sure to make them laugh. Here are a few options:


Amazon has a wide selection of cruise-related gifts, including cabin decorations. mugs, and more. You can find everything from shirts that say “Seas the Day” to mugs that read “I Don’t Always Take Cruises, But When I Do, I Prefer to Be on a Ship.” 

You can find T-shirts that read “Cruising is My Happy Place” and “Blame it on the Drinks Package.” Plus, with Amazon Prime, you can get free shipping on many items, making it an easy and convenient option. You can even put your favorite funny cruise quote on a cabin door decoration.


On Etsy, you can find everything from personalized cruise ship ornaments to funny t-shirts. Many Etsy sellers also offer customization options, so you can add your own personal touch.

No matter where you choose to buy your cruise-themed gift, there are plenty of options out there. Whether you’re looking for a funny t-shirt or a customized mug, you’re sure to find something that will make your friend or family member laugh.

That’s a Wrap For The Funny Cruise Quotes

Well, if you are not splitting your sides by now, then you’ve clearly not had enough to drink from the Cruise Drink Package.

If you enjoyed this post and would like to turn these funny cruise quotes into something tangible, take at look at these cabin cruise door decoration ideas.

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Alan took his first cruise in 1991 and has been cruising ever since. When he is not writing articles for CruiseNonstop.com you'll find him either on a cruise ship (he's the guy in the kilt), or on the golf course!

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